Outline of Stephanie's Paper
Thesis
The significance of technology on identity, particularly Bug's identity
Paragraph 1
-Bug's belief in the body as a machine.
-Bug's struggle with his identity as a result of this belief.
-Cyborg theory - emphasis on interaction between body and mind.
-Relevant use of Biodegradation (JM)
Paragraph 2
-Daniel's mother's stroke
-Linking of Daniel's mother to the keyboard, her only connection to humanity.
-"She has become one with technology, she has become a machine, just like Bug."
Additional Reflections
Argument of the paper
That technology can have a profound impact on an individual's development of identity.
Evidence
The passage that utilized the word 'harder' - a good argument is made that claims this word expresses Bug's concern about weakening his few ties to human civilization, lest he become even more like a machine. Also, direct evidence of Daniel's mother being a 'cyborg'. Awesome integration of biodegradation(JM)
Passage Specific
Interesting reflection on the word 'harder'.
Connection to Larger Issues
The pervading theme of identity is reflected upon in the argument.
Suggestions
1. Your thesis seems to focus on the role of technology and its effect on Bug's identity- but you also talk about its effect on Daniel's mom's new identity. Maybe reword thesis?
-Agreed. Thesis might slightly broaden to examples of a few characters? (JM)
2. Might need a few sentences for a conclusion to tie together the entire argument.
-You're on a roll with this paper. If you keep up the trend you have with the first few paragraphs when you finish it, it should be great. (JM)
3. Perhaps a bit more evidence on technology's effect on Bug's identity.
4.Regarding number one, you may want to focus on a generalized identity crisis with technology in your thesis. Once you pull Daniel's mom into it, your current thesis seems to run out of steam. (JM)
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